If Mama ain’t happy….

This post comes under the Our Life Well Lived: Getting Happy section.  The question is:

How do you practice self-acceptance and find unconditional love for yourself? How does practicing love first help you attract more love and happiness in your life?

I’m guessing most of you have heard the old saying “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” before. There is a certain degree in truth to that statement. But what truly makes Mama happy and content? What brings her happiness and love?  Why does Mama’s outlook affect the family so?

Lots of women have difficulty with the concept of self-acceptance and unconditional love for themselves. I certainly do.  We are taught to put others first. To love other people before loving ourselves. Society has conditioned us to compare ourselves to impossible images and ideals.

Yet I know that women who love themselves and truly accept themselves for who and what they are have a certain “something”. I can think of several special women I’ve met who draw others to them, like a moth to a flame. They are loved and love. They are happy. They are content, which is not the same as  happiness. They share that happiness, contentment and love with everyone they meet. I am drawn into their circle of light.  They gladly share their secret if you will just ask or listen.

Let’s face it. Do we like being around people who are negative? Bitter, angry or unhappy the majority of the  time?  No. It does not attract or encourage relationships.

We put off doing things for ourselves, even important stuff like mammograms, dentist visits, etc.   Most of the time we use the busyness of life as an excuse.  We turn ourselves into martyrs and then complain how we “never have time for ourselves”. I’ve learned that making the time to put me first is OK. That I need to take care of myself; otherwise I can’t take care of my family properly or with a good attitude.

I am slowly learning that by loving myself and accepting ME for who I am, cellulite, double-chin, talkative, bossy and more, that I open up myself to be loved by others. That my family loves me exactly the way I am.  God created me and loves me no matter what.  That how I perceive myself affects my relationship with my husband and our son. When I accept who I am, I can accept who they are.

When I am happy and love myself, I share my happiness and love with others. They in turn share their love and happiness with me. The circle is complete.

Please join me and other women over at BlogHer – feel free to comment here or there.  You can enter the Sweepstakes too!




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  1. I love you Aunt Liz for who you are… talkative and bossy are my two favorite things about you! Thank you for being such a wonderful friend and aunt and welcoming me in to your family as fast as you did. XoXo

    • Thank you Katt! I love you too. We are so much alike and I’m glad you’re a part of our family.

  2. You speak true. Love and happiness starts from within us.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Love, Life and LossMy Profile

    • It is interesting how when we start with ourselves, the rest falls in place. Thank you for visiting and commenting!